General Musings

As I look at various articles, blogs, and opinions on child support - I'd like to make it clear that this blog in particular is not "anti-man" or "anti-father". My personal child support battle is with a non-custodial father. This only means that my perspective is a female perspective, and one that has to battle both the child support division and the non-custodial father.

Glenn Sacks has caught my eye with his very very bitter view of women, and that all things women must have an agenda - I believe that as much as I believe all men are deceitful, dishonest and cheaters. (It covers a few, but not all)

I absolutely believe that short of abusive behavior, or dangerous activities - Fathers should have the opportunity to be a father to their children. As frustrating as it is to seemingly be locked in a battle over financial responsibility, I personally believe it's separate and shouldn't impact a father's presence in a child's life. Likewise if it's the mother that is not paying, but can be in a child's life, that would be optimal. We choose the battles we fight with our children because we want to mold them and help them become the best adults that they can be, we need to give them character and a moral background. That can include fighting the child support battle -

I'm not anti-father's right; not pro-mother's rights. I am pro-child(ren) and feel like the system is broken. The whole child support system should probably be overhauled and taken out of public sector and into the private sector, still utilizing the court system as necessary.

More later....

More on Travis Henry

According to a Colorado Fox News Report

"Broncos running back Travis Henry won't face discipline from the NFL over his child support issues.

NFL spokesman Greg Aiello says the league's personal conduct policy "generally covers criminal violations, not civil matters" such as Henry's."


So the NFL cares about pit bulls, but not so much about children not being supported because of a technicality of civil vs. criminal? Way to go NFL!!

If you'd like to contact the NFL about this - here are a few ways to contact them.
212 450 2000 - NFL Headquarters.
Roger Goodell is the League Commissioner and Greg Aiello is the VP of Media/Spokesman


Just a note: Apparently Colorado doesn't have criminal options in child support until it reaches the federal level. I'll bet not all 9 children were conceived or reside in Colorado - maybe another state would look at it differently and maybe(?!?) the league would take a different look at it. Hard to know, since PETA isn't involved.

Glenn Sacks Article

Glenn writes in mensnewsdaily.com "I've been hard on child support officials in the past for their ridiculous pretense that when fathers don't pay their child support, it means that they have the money but are being stingy with their kids. Research shows just the opposite--the fathers who can pay, do so. Most who don't pay, can't.

I want to commend child support enforcement in this blog post, so I won't belabor the point. To learn more about the problems with the child support system, see my co-authored column When Beating up on 'Deadbeat Dads' is Unfair (Houston Chronicle, 1/7/07), {snip}

In this article, David Engle, director of the Washington County Department of Social Services, explains that one of the biggest barriers to paying support is unemployment. He says:

"The No. 1 reason why people can't pay their support is they're not able to find a job, or a job doesn't give them sufficient funds to pay the support," he said."


While I can see where some parents who don't pay child support don't because they don't have the money; at the end of the day, I don't find that a valid excuse.

There is not extra money in our budget for anything, but if I didn't continue to pay my rent, pay my bills, buy my daughter clothes, make sure she was eating healthily, keep health insurance for her, and in general financially support my daughter - I'd be rightfully in trouble eventually with the law for child neglect. So why do we try to make excuses for non-custodial parents who have a difficult time paying child support. Seems like a slippery slope to me.

And by the way what research is he talking about anyway?

California DMV Information

One of the ways that the child support services department enforces past due child support, is by suspending drivers licenses when payment has not been received for more than 30 days.

It varies wildly when this is actually done. Assembly Bill 923 went into effect on
January 1, 1996. This law requires the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) to
suspend the license privilege of any individual not paying child support. This
includes all drivers’ license classifications (non-commercial and commercial).

The individual's driving privilege is suspended under Family Code Section 17520.

Here's the problem - Child Support Services won't actually tell you, if they know, if a suspension is in place. It's an automated system that doesn't always work. AND, the suspended licensee is actually given up to 150 days with a suspended license with a temporary license, while negotiations are going on to make the payments.

Here's the good news it is possible through the DMV to find out if the other parent's license has in fact been suspended, the DMV will notify the other person of the request, but still give you the information. This has to be done through the Sacramento office and normally takes about 2 weeks to find out. You can also find out what other vehicles are registered to the person at this time.

Here's the code allowing the request: http://www.dmv.ca.gov/forms/inf/inf70_r8_2004.pdf

and here is the form to request the information: http://www.dmv.ca.gov/forms/inf/inf70.pdf

For our situation, I'm thinking that a drivers license could be an important thing for a hauling and demo company owner.

Denying passports helps secure back child support

From http://www.signonsandiego.com/uniontrib/20070815/news_1n15passport.html

'WASHINGTON – The price of a passport: $311,491 in back child support payments for a U.S. businessman now living in China; $46,000 for a musician seeking to perform overseas, and $45,849 for a man planning a Dominican Republic vacation.

The new passport requirements that have complicated travel this summer also have uncovered untold numbers of child support scofflaws and forced them to pay millions. The State Department denies passports to noncustodial parents who owe more than $2,500 in child support. Once the parents make good on their debts, they can reapply for passports."

I'm not totally sure how I feel about this. I'm all for collecting child support; I'm back to my original statement that it certainly at times seems to be unconstitutional the level that is reached. Passports are intended to show citizenship. Will they be denied for other collection purposes later?

The amounts listed above are outrageous!

Most Frustrating

I think what is most frustrating to parents that would like to receive regular child support is that we do abide by legal options available. We may send letters, or telephone our reminders to the non-custodial parents - but it seems as though the non - custodial parents are the ones that get to break all of the laws and there seems to be little more than a slap on the wrist.

Take this example:

George sent me an email today, he like a growing number of men, is the custodial parent. The non-custodial parent in this instance is Denise McKnight, current past due amount is over $69,000. She was last known to reside in Lindewold, NJ. She too uses alias, various social security numbers and date of birth to avoid detection. There is no proof that her father, Howard Hightower, is actually hiding her, the general assumption is that he does know where she is. Further he knows the outstanding amount of the past due child support of his grandchildren, and makes no known effort to encourage her to pay it, or notify the authorities of where she is located. Cassandra Blassingame may also have information on her whereabouts.

If you come across this blog and happen to know where either of these non-paying parents are, shoot us an email at shaylalalala@gmail.com.

If you’d like to profile someone – send an email to the same address.

an email I received

It's certainly not just my child's father that won't pay for child support. I was copied on an email this week.

"Broncos running back Travis Henry has a lot of money. Enough that he has a $100,000 car. Enough that he's spent $146,000 on jewelry. But not enough to take care of his kids. "

The blog entry continues, quoting the Atlanta Constitution "Henry, 28, has fathered nine children by nine women in at least four Southern states and has been ordered by various judges to provide child support for seven of them, according to court records involving one child living in DeKalb County.

DeKalb Superior Court Judge Clarence Seeliger this week ordered Henry to provide $3,000 a month for the Lithonia boy he fathered out of wedlock three years ago"

Nine children! What I saw of the article didn't indicate how current he was on the other support orders, but if he's having to provide a trust for this one, I'll take a guess not terribly current.

Shameful!

http://sports.aol.com/fanhouse/2007/08/25/broncos-running-back-travis-henry-has-nine-children-by-nine-diff/

I'll be posting stories of real people, and the amounts owed, current legislation - lack of effort on child support services etc. in the days to come.

More soon......


Hat tip to Maja for the email.

An interesting journey we take when we try to get child support enforced

It’s quite an odd thing, in my opinion, to have to fight for a parent to pay child support. While I’m not entirely sure that the system the way it is set up, is constitutional - or fair to any party - including the child(ren). It is in fact what we have to work with.

It’s odd that this is the only debtor’s prison system that our American Justice system has, yet without that threat, how many children would not get their child support payment from the non-custodial (or joint custodial) parent.

I’m chronicling my journey. I’ve tried to abide by the laws, and the child support system, I’ve attempted to be reasonable, to be firm, to be accommodating, but at the end of the day, if the other parent doesn’t want to pay, it’s pretty difficult to get him to pay.

So this time, there are no threats, there is no ultimatum, there was no warning of consequences, it is what it is. I no longer care that there are children involved in this situation that don’t know they have a younger sibling, or that there is a wife that resents that her husband has to pay child support.

I don’t care anymore about all of the lies and deceptions that got us to this point. I only care that my daughter is not receiving child support from her father. So, the journey begins to tell the story….